Happiness is NOT a choice...

So, before you come to hash this out with me, at least read this and understand where this idea and my belief come from.

"You choose to wake up and be happy."

"You make the most of what you have."

Wrong, and wrong.

For people who live with PTSD, depression, postpartum or any other form of mental illness, happiness has little to do with an instant choice.  It's been a long, long road to discovering why I couldn't be "happy" like other people, and while in discovery mode, I've come to the conclusion:

Happiness is a destination.

Nothing or no one can MAKE you happy.  You have to plan to be happy.  You can feel joy or pleasure but happiness, true happiness doesn't really come in this life.  The way you choose to live your life in a day to day basis, the steps you take to leave your legacy, the kindness offered when you pay it forward - those things will let you be happy when life is over - or the lack thereof will let you be miserable.

Me, myself; a human being, mother, student, employee, etc etc.... I struggle with the notion people are happy.  You can't define it, you can't bottle it, you can't get a certificate for it on paper... Think about it.

*  When you see your friend you haven't seen in a long time - and you get to hug them, it's joy.

*  When you overcome depression and it's now manageable - that's relief.

*  When your child or spouse or significant other does something amazing - you're proud.

*  When you make good choices instead of bad ones - you feel empowered, strong, and capable.  Things are easier and you're at peace.

*  When you realize you have enough, and some extra left over - that's gratitude for plenty.

These things contribute to the happiness plan - which leads us happiness when we're ready to die.  I know when I die, I would like to look back and go - "yeah, I did a lot of good things, left a good legacy... I can be happy with the outcome..." and pass peacefully.  I'd like to add more experiences full of joy, pride, power, love to the list of things I can read off once I'm done with this life.  Happiness is a destination I am striving for, day to day.  I hope you are too.