To those who wonder:

This painful time in mortal life, is what I call learning and growing because I don't honestly think I'll arrive anywhere but to fast conclusions by the way of guilt trips as far as destinations are concerned.  I didn't arrive at happy overnight, or well, ever. Happy, that's a constant journey, no arrival, no destination... just progress.

I think I'd say I'm content enough with the way things are going that I can wear a smile often enough and make it believable. There are still times I cry and wanna curse the sky because – well, that's what we humans do... but welcome to Life101.

To sum up the last 13 years of my life– here's the Reader's Digest super quick version:

I met my ex in a dance hall/saloon in San Bernardino while he was in the Marines. I got pregnant the night I met him. We got married six months later in my parents front yard. I don't think he really understood what he was getting into when he got married. We struggled through the 12 years of marriage with various accusations of you did this and that between the two of us and ultimately, divorced after we had three kids, umpteen moves and restarts, and had been sealed for eternity in a LDS temple.

Divorce and the details behind it left me feeling really inadequate as a woman. I figured I'd never be good enough for a man if the one I picked to marry could just walk away from us, the life we built and three beautiful kids so easily.  Enter Therapy.  Therapy helped me a lot. More than alot, it saved me. That paired with visiting the temple in Boise for peace, and trying to maintain a good example for my kids kept me sane. 

But for you to know all I've lived through would take a HUGE novel. I'll highlight the worst parts of my life by attaching an English paper I wrote for college. (It got a 100% - shameless plug of pride)

So before you think I've got it all together and I'm faking... I'm not really faking to be happy. I smile and choose to be cheerful when I can because I believe something better has got to be right above this horizon. I'll walk on water one day. I will. Until then, I'm human and learning – just like you.

http://soapboxamy.blogspot.com/ - I've lost access to this blog and cannot comment or post on it anymore - but the paper and the details of my life are there if you wanna know me better.  English 101 is the paper's name.

Honestly yours,

Amy