On December 20th, I was given a tentative diagnosis of cancer. Yes, me. It punched me in the gut and wiped me out of all reality for about an hour. It doesn't make sense to me, that a person who loves people so unconditionally, who wants to help the world, and wants to be here to change lives, is given a sentence of suffering. I believe in miracles. I have seen them work in my life, so I will continue to pray that the doctor is wrong, or that my labs that get re-drawn on my second opinion in a week, come back clean. Until then, I will continue to work passionately towards what I love doing. Helping people with nutrition and health. Note - I never said being skinny.
I believe firmly, that fitness is as much of a mindset as a physical state of being. Watching The Biggest Loser last night affirmed that when one contestant named Nikki sent herself home. Does weight-loss uncover insecurities? You bet! It sure does, but when you lose the weight, you lose the emotional baggage with it, if you go about it the right way. I've suffered a lot of abuse in my life, and it's left me feeling out of control sometimes. I used to have a crutch in eating disorders, but after having kids, I can't do that. It's not something I can feed into anymore. But I want you to know, you being healthy depends on you. You're the one who shops for your pantry and fridge. You are the one who eats the food you do. To this I say, STOP THE ABUSE! You deserve a life full of joy, limitlessness, and health!
If I were to ask you at this moment to do me a favor, I would ask you to take a look in the mirror. Yes, walk away from what you are reading after you have the instructions, and go have a look at yourself. I want you to know, there is nobody that can take your place. That you are worth the work you are about to invest in yourself. Reclaiming your life is the greatest work you can undertake and the biggest slap in the face to what has held you back. I want you to find one thing a day, just one thing, that you can focus on as being a positive. What makes you different and wonderful?
Too often we are stuck, staring at ourselves in the mirror, looking at what we hate. "I hate my love handles, my double chin, my cellulite." Whatever those negative messages are, you have to stop that. Those messages are telling your body you are those things, when you're not. You may have fat, but you are not fat. If you were fat, you wouldn't have a heart, blood, lungs, a brain... you are a person, dealing with issues just like everyone else.
There is an excellent book, for self help-ers (I would say it falls into that category) that teaches you the power of thoughts. It's called The Power, by Rhonda Byrne. I have it on Audio as well as the hard copy so I can listen to it when I'm cleaning or working, or read it when I need some spark of hope. It reminds me to control what I say to myself and to the universe (when I am angry I sometimes scream at the sky) because it breeds consequences, good and bad.
I still struggle with my weight. In fact, I was told by my doctor - the same who diagnosed me with cancer - that I needed to lose 20% of my body weight. What she doesn't understand, is I can run a 5K, I have no problem with fitness, I'm not a couch potato. I eat healthy, but she didn't want to see my food logs. But the weight is hard for me to lose for physiological reasons I needed her help for and obviously she didn't get.
I'm not a skinny nutritionist. I've never been super skinny. I've been where you are, and where you are going. What I say to you is... YOU ARE WORTH IT! Keep up the good work, and even if reading this today was the first step in the right direction, it's always one foot in front of the other that keeps us moving in the right direction.
With Love,
Amy
