If you KNOW me, you know I adored living in Idaho. It was my favorite place I had ever lived with an easy lifestyle that being a single mom I cold afford and with a rich sense of community. I felt like I had everything I could need or want within a short commute and was happy as a clam in my life there.
Last summer, I opted to come and help my mom take care of my grandma because mom working 10 hour days during the summer and getting up at 3 and 4 am to take care of my grandma was taking a toll on her heart. Palpitations scare me, especially when congestive heart failure runs in the family. I knew I was supposed to come here to California, and honestly had the greatest turmoil about leaving my home that I loved. I negotiated with God - that if this is what I was really supposed to do - no more than six weeks is what I could tolerate.
Here I am almost 9 months later.
I was furious for a while I was stranded here. It bothered me to no end that I was taken from what I loved to sit here and rot. Not that this is rotting - but I didn't feel like I was LIVING here. It was a mere existence. Gradually, I started to swallow humble pie and get to know people here. Through church, through reconnecting, through dancing... and it was wonderful to see how much can be gained when you give of yourself.
The time I have spent here - I have done grafting of myself to others, and in turn, allowed them to graft their bits in me. One friend, makes me resilient and strong. One friend teaches me playful nature and love. One friend taught me compassion on a new level. Another, true friendship without judgement.
I have learned that this life isn't about ME per se. It's about LEARNING things I need to make me a better person and in turn, share that with others. Life is a school full of lessons and learning. Opening your heart and mind to those around you, brings fruits of joy, love and compassion like you've never known.
We are all children under a Great Creator. Love and be loved. It is the greatest power in the universe. Allow yourself to grow and be developed into more than you ever thought possible. Give freely and see what comes back to you.
With love,
Amy
