Forget the ice bucket challenge.

Wash yourself in this wake up call.

Getting what we want - instead of what we need.  Aye-yi-yi.  I know this better than any other person.  To those who know me, know I am probably pretty straightforward and stubborn.  I will never deny that.  This leads me to my next statement...

There are those who know what they want, and those who go after what they want.

One is a dream and the other involves action.  I have been going after what I want, and by doing this, I very well may be neglecting the fact that it may not be what I need.  The last few months, I have been in California helping family take care of my grandmother.  It has been hard for several reasons, and I'll leave that for another blog on another day.  Life here is far different than the life I had in Idaho, and I miss it... terribly.  I have been chasing homes in one area back in Meridian

, because quite frankly, it was the first time I felt like I was home-home.  Maybe I have to give up that dream temporarily to go where I'm needed... I dunno.  Or, like my friend Jill says, stay here... which causes more anxiety than you could ever imagine.  However...

I have discovered this: that people are over-scheduled, too busy for one another, too busy to serve or uplift, too busy to care.  In current times, it is hard enough to find your dreams a reality with the constant flood of "This is what you deserve, this is what you should have, this is..." honestly someone else's dream to chase or unrealistic expectations of what YOUR life should be.

I am determined to refocus my life.

I am challenging myself to commit to being open to what I need in my life instead of demanding a wish list of what I think I deserve. If you're reading this, I challenge you too.

I'm also challenging myself to be invested in the betterment of myself, and uplifting others.  Again, if you're reading this, consider yourself challenged.

It is not selfish to love yourself first as long as you're not being haughty, pompous, arrogant, or taking down others to feel better.  We have to be on the path to improvement in order to put positive out there.  

I've learned a lot being single.  Loving yourself needs to come first.  Once you're happy with you, adding another person to the picture is just icing on the cake.  It truly is.

So - what needs are you blocking by putting what you want first?

Here is my list:

1. Be a better Christian/LDS member (faith comes first)

2. Be a better me (I come second)

3. Be a better me for everyone else. (Family and friends)

I think with this shift in focus of my daily living - I will be better prepared to be willing to accept what I need, and then, if the dream suits me - allow that to fall into my life with ease, not force.

With this I leave you blessings of peace and joy.